Jimin
I stay in bed, phone in hand as I look at the messages, unable to sleep. I can’t help but smile as I scroll through them.
Minji: Hey Jiminie, sorry for texting you late but I just wanted to thank you for what you did earlier.
Jiminie: For what I did earlier? What do you mean?
Minji: Coming to look for me and helping me calm down – making sure I don’t feel alone…
Jiminie: Ohh that. It’s nothing. It’s what friends do and we’re friends, aren’t we? 😊 😊
Minji: Yes, we are 😊
Jiminie: Good, that’s what I like to hear and don’t worry about what happened. Nobody thinks any less of you for that. Did you manage to fix your neighbour’s sink? 😂 😂
Minji: We got drenched but we did haha 😂 😂 I should let you rest. We both have busy days tomorrow. 😊
Jiminie: Okay. Have a good sleep Minji and make sure you eat properly tomorrow… sneak in snacks if you have to. Promise?
Minji: Okay promise Jiminie 😊 Good night
I sigh happily as I go the gallery. I press on the video of her and Jungkook ‘fighting’ and smile. Although she does look like Jungkook and has his strength, she’s shorter than him. I find myself staring at her and I can’t stop myself from smiling. She’s beautiful, funny, strong but also delicate. I can’t help but think of the way Yun described her earlier today – someone who’s fierce and ready to stand up for others but with her own insecurities. I saw that first hand today when I found her. I know she was crying, even if she tried to hide. Seeing her cry, actually made me feel really sad for her and I felt this urge to comfort her. The video finishes and I look for the photo which we took the first time we met before I finally put my phone on the night stand and go to sleep.
Yesterday was full on rehearsals for today. We’re going to be appearing on one of the live TV programs and right now we’re all getting our make-up and hair done. I feel my phone vibrate and I take it out of my pocket. I smile as I see Minji’s name pop up.
Minji: Hey Jiminie… just wanted to let you know that the presentation went well today and that Yun and I are at the shop and waiting for the show the begin. Fighting!
Jiminie: I’m glad to hear that Minji! I knew you could do it. It makes me happy to know you’ll be watching. Did you eat?
Minji: We’re eating now, before our shift begins. Don’t worry about us 😊
Jiminie: It’s in my nature to worry… you know that 😊
Minji: I do… I got to go… the manager is here!!
Jiminie: Okay. TTYL 😊 😊
I smile as I put my phone away on the desk when I see Hobi right behind me. He looks at me just as the hair stylists walks away, having finished doing my hair. ‘Who have you been texting non-stop lately?’ He asks.
‘No one.’ I reply quickly, perhaps too quickly. Hobi gives me a look of disbelief before he tries to reach for my phone. ‘YAH!!’ I yell as I jump to stop him from doing so. Hobi manages to grab it and raises it up so I can’t reach. ‘Yah! Hyung give it back!’ I say.
‘You sound like a kid. I think I rather enjoy this.’ He says as he wiggles it. I go on the chair and try to grab it but he lowers it and turns a circle around me. I jump on his back and he groans and laughs at the same time. ‘Who were you texting?’ He asks.
‘None of your business hyung.’ I say, a smile on my face, unable to keep serious.
‘Is it a girl?’ He asks.
‘No, it’s a donkey.’ I reply sarcastically. I see his eyes light up but he hands me the phone and I get off his back. ‘It’s not how you think hyung.’ I say.
‘Then why are you being so defensive?’ He asks, crossing his arms across his chest. ‘Please don’t tell me she’s married!!’ He says gasping loudly.
‘What? No!’ I half yell at him but he just laughs and I realize he was just pulling my leg and I roll my eyes at him. ‘It’s complicated hyung.’ I say with a frown as I run my hand through my hair, a habit I have of doing.
‘Well I’m an expert at that.’ He says with a frown as well and I nod. ‘So come on, open up and confess to your hyung.’ He says.
‘First of all, you’re not a priest and secondly, it’s not a confession of anything.’ I begin and he just smiles so I continue. ‘It’s Minji. She texted me on Wednesday to thank me for going after her and calming her down after her panic attack and then yesterday we kind of kept talking as well. She texted me to tell me her presentation went well and that they’ll be watching.’ I say.
‘So why are you worried?’ He asks, looking at me confused. I look around, making sure nobody can hear.
‘I’m worried about what Jungkook might think. He’s trying to get to know her too and I don’t want him to think that maybe I’m trying to complicate things or anything. It’s just she’s a really nice girl and I enjoy talking with her.’ I admit and I see him smile. ‘What? Why are you smiling?’ I ask.
‘You’re scared that you might end up liking her more than just a friend and that Jungkook won’t approve.’ He says and I sigh. ‘I’m not your hyung for nothing. Take it as it goes. There’s nothing wrong with getting to know her.’ He says and I nod. The door opens and Namjoon walks in.
‘You guys ready?’ He asks and we nod as we make our way to the greenroom. We wait for the signal before we get ready on stage. The MC does the introduction and then the spotlight turns on us as we begin to sing and dance to Idol. As soon as we finish, we see the MC clapping and cheering and I can’t help but smile as we approach him and shake hands before we sit down.
‘Welcome to the show. That was an incredible performance.’ Soobin comments. ‘But tonight you won’t be alone here – we have a very special guest contributing.’ He says and we look at each other confused. Nobody told us that there will be another guest on the show. Usually, we’re told so we can be prepared. He motions to another circular stage and the spotlight goes on. Although I can’t see her face because of the cap, we all know who she is – Yoona. We all let out a chuckle of some sort and I can see Hoseok’s smile growing even bigger.
Music starts playing and it almost sounds futuristic but my eyes are glued to Yoona who looks fierce as she dances. She struts forward showing her strength in just those moments. The music changes and her body pops in ways which is inhuman. She spins and then bends in a way where she stands on one leg and raises the other one while bending her back. She comes down and does another spin and as she does so she grabs the cap and throws it away, showing her face. She moves her hands and I see her *ing as she holds to an imaginary box. She smirks confidently, slipping down into a split and bringing her legs close to each other She does a backward roll and stands up effortlessly. She stops for one second before she smirks once again and does a spinning kick in mid air followed by a backward jump. She lands on her feet and goes on one as she spins until the music comes to a stop.
The boys and I all stand up and cheer and I look at Hoseok who looks at her proudly. Soobin stands up and goes to her and offers her his hand which she takes as he leads her to our sofa. We quickly make space and she sits between me and Hoseok. I give her a thumbs up and she smiles. ‘That was an incredible performance but how about you introduce yourself.’ Soobin suggests.
‘Hi everyone. My name is Song Yoona and I am Bangtan Sonyeondan’s choreographer.’ She says with a smile as she gives the peace sign but I can tell she is nervous. Yoona has always been an incredible dancer and while she is performing she is one of the most confident people you’ll see but she’s always doing work behind the cameras.
‘We wanted to surprise BTS by bringing in their choreographer and hopefully learn more about the dancing process and how you all work together.’ Soobin says and she nods. ‘So, Namjoon, what was it like meeting Yoona for the first time?’ He asks.
‘Aish I remember that day clearly. The day before, Bang PD-nim had come to inform us that the next day we would meet the choreographer and all he told us was ‘don’t be late’ but we were fifteen minutes late. When we arrived, she was dancing and we were all mesmerized. We weren’t sure she was the one, I think, we half expected an older male. She turned around and gave us the worst glare and then forced us to do ten pushups each before we even introduced ourselves for being late.’ Namjoon explains. The memory is as vivid in my brain as if it happened yesterday.
‘So she’s very strict and disciplined?’ Soobin asks and I see Yoona’s face go a little red.
‘She is but not in a cruel way. She demands the best out of us because she believes in us and we trust her. Her criticism is always constructive and never meant to hurt or mock.’ Yoongi says quickly coming to her defense.
‘Yeah. It’s no secret that in the beginning Namjoon and I struggled. Yoona never once raised her voice at us. Instead she was gentle and patient and she would do the steps with us, even if it meant staying an extra hour or two.’ Jin says.
‘You must feel so proud of them seeing the way they work the choreography which is always so complex in the first place.’ Soobin says turning to Yoona.
‘I am. I get prouder with every rehearsal we do and with every performance they do. They always deliver and they work extremely hard. They tolerate my obsessive need for perfectionism as well.’ She says laughing.
‘If she didn’t have that, our performances wouldn’t be as they are so really, we couldn’t ask for anyone better to work with.’ Hoseok says.
‘And to add to what Hoseok-hyung said, noona isn’t just our choreography teacher. She’s also a very loyal friend. She’s been with us from the start and she’s always been there, whether it’s related to BTS or not.’ Jungkook says and I smile, knowing exactly what he is referring to. Yoona seems to catch on as well as she gives him a tender look that only older sisters know how to give.
‘That’s amazing to hear. It’s good to have that kind of teamwork as well. So, Yoona who gives you the most trouble during rehearsals?’ Soobin asks and she chuckles.
‘Well, it kind of depends. If Taehyung or Jimin start laughing, they just won’t stop and there are days where all of them completely can’t get a hold of themselves but like I said they work hard so they make up for any lost time.’ Yoona says.
‘Which choreography is your favourite?’ Soobin asks. She pauses as if to take a moment to think about it.
‘Well, they produce different kinds of music which as a choreographer is a heaven sent because I get to work with different styles, example like we did with Airplane part two – we gave it a different vibe so that was really fun. Still, having said that, I think Fake Love is one of my favourite choreographies. There’s a lot to work with.’ She explains.
‘And what do you find the most difficult when preparing for the choreography?’ He asks.
‘Well first of all I have to remind myself that they need to sing as well and it’s not just one song. They have a stretch of time which they have to continuously moving. Each stage is different, whether they’re doing the solos, a group performance or including the back up dancers as well. When it’s solo, I have to make sure everything is perfect because the full focus is on that person. When it’s them as a group or with the backup dancers it requires a lot of practice to make sure everyone is in sync. Preparing for Awards is usually very stressful.’ She says with a nervous chuckle.
‘I can imagine, especially with the kind of shows that BTS do. So Yoona, an interesting fact about you is that you became their choreographer at age seventeen, becoming the youngest choreographer for a K-Pop group. You must have felt the pressure.’ Soobin says.
‘I did and there were many times I wanted to pack my things and run away. Once, in the beginning I was really ready to go, packed my things and everything but I saw their faith in me so I worked harder to create better and more daring choreographies.’ She answers as she begins to describe that day where she almost left.
*Flashback*
‘Where’s noona? It’s not like her to be late.’ Taehyung comments and I nod in agreement. We’re sitting down on the floor in the dance studio, waiting for Yoona to show up. Practice should have started twenty minutes ago but there’s still no sign of her.
‘Tae’s right. In the six months we’ve known her, she’s never been late, not once. On the contrary, we never seem to arrive before her.’ Hoseok says, a frown on his face. I see Yoongi playing with the laces of his sneakers, not saying a word but the worry is evident on his face.
‘I hope she’s okay.’ Jungkook says. He’s still quiet and shy but Yoona and the rest of us seem to make him more confident by the day but right now, he’s back to his quiet self. Namjoon stands up as he begins to pace around and Jin looks at him.
‘I know. I’m getting worried too, especially since she’s not answering her phone.’ Namjoon comments. We hear a knock and then Bang PD-nim walks in with a worried look on his face. ‘I was thinking of coming to talk to you. We can’t get a hold of Yoona.’ Namjoon says.
‘She left.’ He says. We exchange a look unable to believe that. She left? But why? She looked happy with us and she’s always laughing… what happened? – I think to myself.
‘No, she wouldn’t just leave like that. She would not abandon us.’ Jungkook comments as he stands up. We all stand up as well as we circle Bang.
‘The pressure got too much for her. I caught her this morning crying her eyes out in the studio. She didn’t even go home yesterday and spent the whole night here trying to work on the dance. She looked exhausted.’ Bang explains sounding sad and heartbroken.
‘How could we not see it?’ Taehyung replies with a sigh. ‘She always seemed to be so happy and full of energy.’ He comments.
‘Sometimes we seem to forget that she just turned eighteen.’ Yoongi says and I turn to look at him. ‘We feel the pressure ourselves, of course she would too. She’s responsible for our dancing and she knows that if we do mistakes, it reflects on her. People won’t just judge our music, they’ll judge our dancing too and she knows that.’ He explains.
‘It doesn’t mean she should give up. She never lets us give up.’ Jin comments. Sometimes it’s difficult to comprehend how he is the eldest because he acts like a good but I know how much he cares about all of us, including her.
‘Then we don’t let her give up.’ I say. ‘We’ll be there for her just like she has been there for us since day one. We just need to find her.’ I add.
‘Jimin is right. We have to find her. Do you know where she might have gone?’ Hoseok asks.
‘I called her mother. She said Yoona went home, packed everything and left and wouldn’t tell her where she’s going – just that she’s leaving for a couple of days.’ He says.
‘Yoona’s family is struggling financially, I doubt she’d buy a plane ticket. She’d probably go by train wherever she’s going.’ Namjoon says.
‘Then let’s go. Everyone in the van.’ Jin says. Everyone nods as we hurry out of the building with Bang following behind us. Jin gets behind the steering wheel and starts to drive.
‘Jin, slow down. I know you want to reach her but we need to be in one piece to convince her to come back.’ Bang says.
‘Yes Bang PD-nim. Sorry about that.’ Jin replies as he slows down just a little.
‘How are we going to convince her to stay?’ Jungkook asks and I see Yoongi smile a bit.
‘By telling her the truth. That she means a lot to us and that we can’t do this without her and that she doesn’t have to burden everything by herself.’ Yoongi replies. We finally reach the train station and Jin parks while we all hurry out of the van. We decide to split up in groups and I’m with Taehyung and Jungkook. We run among the crowds, searching for her.
‘There!!’ Taehyung shouts as he points to a female figure who is ready to hop onto the train.
‘NOONA!!!’ Jungkook screams. She hears him and turns around as we start to run towards her. The others must have heard Jungkook’s yell because I see them running as well.
‘What are you doing here?’ She asks. I can see how red and puffy her eyes are and the dark circles under her eyes. She looks pale and sickly too, exhaustion written all over her face and body. She can barely keep standing up.
‘Yoona! What do you think you’re doing huh?’ Hoseok asks, getting closer to her. I see the tears starting to fall again down her cheeks, tears she doesn’t bother to wipe away. ‘Why are you leaving?’ He asks when she doesn’t respond as he walks closer to her.
‘I can’t do it anymore. I feel like a failure and I don’t want you to fail because of my incompetency. I don’t know why Bang chose me but he made a mistake when he did.’ She says.
‘You’re not a failure and you’re definitely not incompetent Yoona.’ Yoongi says with the softest voice I ever heard him use with anyone.
‘You’re an incredible dancer and Bang chose you because he knows that.’ I say.
‘Yeah, Jimin is right. You’ve been teaching us a lot and we’ve gotten a lot better because of you.’ Jin says.
‘We can’t do this without you really. Who’s going to order us to do pushups when we’re late huh? Or pull our ears when we’re making a ruckus?’ Taehyung says, earning a small smile from her.
‘Hyung’s right. You’re the perfect teacher for us because you’re strict but you’re also caring. You make us believe in ourselves noona.’ Jungkook says.
‘We’re a team and that team isn’t just the seven of us, it includes you too. You believe in us and we believe in you. You’re an incredible person, not just dancer and you don’t have to burden this alone.’ Namjoon says.
‘Yeah, we can help come up with the choreography if you feel stuck. We can work together.’ Hoseok tries to reassure her.
‘Yeah – we can trade ideas and be more daring.’ I say with a smile. She blinks her eyes and puts her hand up in the air. She grabs her phone and puts in her earbuds and closes her eyes. ‘Did I say something wrong?’ I ask Hoseok who is next to me.
‘On the contrary, I think you just sparked something in her.’ Hoseok says with a smile. We wait as we watch her face transform before she opens her eyes and smiles.
‘You said we’ll go for daring right?’ She asks and I nod. ‘And you said you trust me, right? She asks.
‘Yeah, we do.’ I say a little nervously.
‘Then I know what we’re going to do.’ She says as she turns to look at Bang who has been standing there quietly. ‘That is… if you’re willing to take me back after the tantrum I threw this morning.’ She says.
‘On one condition.’ He says. I see Jungkook ready to say something but I grab his hand and shake my head. ‘You promise that if you feel too pressured, you talk with the boys. Don’t just leave like that.’ Bang says.
‘I promise. It was immature, childish and irresponsible. I felt ashamed of myself but I realize that we all need a little push sometimes.’ She says.
‘You’ve got that right.’ Namjoon says as he puts his hand out. I quickly put my hand on his as the others follow as well. Bang and Yoona exchange a look before they place their hands as well. ‘Bangtan!’
*Present Time*
‘That’s how the dance break for Bulletproof part two came along.’ Yoona finishes explaining. ‘These boys have made my life so much better and they have truly made me believe in myself more than ever.’ She says.
‘She must really mean a lot to you guys if you chased her all the way to the train station.’ Soobin remarks.
‘She is very important to us.’ Hoseok says as he steals a long glance at her. She smiles at him and then looks at Soobin who is smirking as if he is catching on.
‘Okay now let’s move on to something a little less emotional. We have a challenge for you Yoona. As their choreographer you probably know each choreography really well. We want to test that. Can you please stand up?’ He asks and she nods. He leads her to the centre as we all watch. ‘There will be various songs playing, one after the other and you need to dance to the choreography of course. The boys will judge how well you do and then we’ll compare them to the MVs.’ He says. ‘Are you ready?’ He asks.
‘I was born ready.’ She replies, sounding confident. Soobin gives the thumbs up and ‘I need U’ starts playing and she starts to dance without a second hesitation with amazing precision. The music quickly changes to Blood Sweat and Tears and I see the MC’s face as he sees her swap without any difficulty. A number of other songs continue to change – Fire, Fake Love, Run, Lie, Begin and finally Boy Meets Evil.
‘Whoa!! That was incredible.’ Soobin congratulates her. She sits down, breathing a little heavily. We watch as we compare her dance to the MVs. ‘Actually flawless. No mistakes whatsoever.’ He comments again.
‘We told you. She’s the best dancer there is.’ Hoseok says proudly. Eventually the program is over and we get into the van to go back to BigHit. I feel my phone vibrate and I realize Yun and Minji have texted in the group chat.
Yun: You guys were amazing but Yoona kind of stole the spotlight tonight. You were incredible!!
Minji: Yeah!! We were fangirling really hard and the customers probably were thinking we’re a bit crazy haha All of you were amazing.
Joonie: Thank you both 😊 😊
Yoona: Yeah… I’m really glad you were watching. All of us are 😊
Kookie: We really appreciate it 😊 Feels good to know you two support us.
Yun: We’d love to stay and chat but we’ve got to go. The shop is packed today!
Jiminie: Okay! Take care of yourselves and stay safe 😊
Minji: We will 😊 😊
We stop texting and continue to talk as we reach BigHit. We go to the board room where Bang is waiting for us. ‘Welcome back and good job. You’re a natural Yoona.’ He says.
‘Thanks Bang.’ She replies as the two high five.
‘Which is good news. I’ve been contacted by Taemin’s company. He wants to work with you.’ Bang says. I see Hoseok’s smile fade into a narrow, thin line. ‘He’s participating in a dance show and needs a female partner and they were asking if you would be willing to do it.’ He says.
‘Oh well, I’ll do as you tell me.’ Yoona replies.
‘How long would she be gone?’ Hoseok asks, not giving anyone a chance to speak up.
‘A week. I think it will be good for you. They’ll soon start preparing for the comeback and it will serve you as a break and you’ll get more credit under your name.’ Bang says.
‘You know I never cared about that. My priority are the boys but if you think we can manage, why not? It would be something different.’ Yoona says excitement written all over her face. I look at Hoseok who doesn’t look too happy right now – I wonder whether it’s because she’ll be gone a week but my heart tells me it’s because she’ll be working with Taemin.
‘Someone’s jealous.’ Jungkook whispers to me. I look at him and nod.
‘Without a doubt.’ I whisper back.